Chains (Poems)

Crying tears of blood
Screaming, pleading, Struggling
For these chains to come off
A heart so black and so cold


Screaming out loud and no one hears
Screaming in silence saying PLEASE STOP!
My heart tangled in ropes
Jerking and pulling, can't break free


My wrists bleeding and bruised
From trying to break them off
All alone in a room by myself
Isolated from the world


Chains of medal holding me back
Laying on the floor lifeless
In a daze with no feeling
so empty and cold


The loneliness is so overwhelming, so unbearable
The silence I can't take
So quiet it drives me insane
The pain ripping through my soul
Dying a slowing agonizing death
The blood draining from my veins


My heart is skipping beats 
No longer struggling with these chains 
Too tired to fight any longer
The bruises hurt too much


These chains will always be attached to me
I'll never break free, this is my destiny
I live with these chains, I'll die with these chains
These shackles are forever
So its time to give up 
It's time to surrender
No more fighting these chains

It's Not Over (Poem)

Sorry for what I've done to you
Can you forgive me?
For you it's over but for me it's not over
I still love you but do you?
All our memories happiness and loneliness
Tears, smiles, cry, laugh
Please come back


I miss you a lot
As I've said it's not over
For me I'll never forget, never forgive
If you're disappointed sorry
I've cried for you
I've laughed for you
I've changed for you


Now I'm alone just because of you
Now I'm alone without you
If I die today, what will you do?
Come after or just pretend?
Not be affected


I love you after you love me
I wish I'm a grass
So I can cut myself
You're important to me
I don't know if I'll be ok


I love you, I hate you
My only wish for now
Is to be with  you


This 3 years had been my worst nightmare
With this life of mine
Everything had changed
I threw away my dreams
Since I've done this


I'm lonely forever
My sunshine becomes my night
My happiness becomes my darkness
Plenty lies, you're not here


I'm alone waiting
For you to come back
I know you can tell I love you
I know you can feel it too
But please don't leave me
Because you know I love you...

Little Country Boy (Poem)

So tired of the back and forth bullshit
So tired of the mental and emotional abuse
You love looking down on me
You're tearing me down don't you see


You have to be the one to have the last word
The last say of how my life should be
Building me up and tearing me down
The minute my heart is healed
You open up the wound
You leave to bleed


You have no control of your life
So you have to control mine
Control my precious heart
And stealing who I am


Stealing who I am
With all the yelling, screaming 
And the mental abuse


Why do you hate yourself so much?
Why are you so ungrateful?
Why are you so angry?
Why are you so unhappy?


Fighting the demons in your head
Gripping who you don't want to be
Making you think your a man
A man doesn't lie, abuse
He knows how to treat a woman
Treats her with tender love and care


You think your tough
Your the weakest person I know
Running away from the truth
Not facing what you've done wrong 
Hiding from what's really there


Why are you so afraid? 
Afraid to let people see who you are


A person scared, selfish, mean, ungrateful
All you do is feel sorry for yourself 
Whining and crying poor me, poor me
It's just about you, that's what you call selfish
Thinking only of yourself


How can I love such a person?
It's because my whole life
Has been abuse, believing the lies
Being brain washed, that's what you do
You Brainwash me wash me to believe 
You don't love me


You don't love me 
You don't care
You are a lover of yourself
Never caring about my feelings 
Never wanting to deal with me


You can run away 
But I'll always be in the back of your head
The guilt will haunting you
My face will always there
You will never be free of me
Not until you face what you've done


You want to have the chains on you
You don't want to be free
You want to be stubborn
Why do you want to live like that?


You're only hurting yourself
You're torturing your heart
Your making yourself angry


You're just making me stronger
Making forget you
Making me hate you
Then you will no longer
Have someone to destroy 
All your going to have is yourself
The person you can't stand
The person you hate the most
Continue destroying yourself
Cause that's the only person you're destroying


I'll be free from you
What are you going to do then?
You're going to be lost
No one to turn to 
No one to control
What are you going to do then?


Do you feel like a man?
Do you feel tough?
You think you've won don't you?
No, you've lost
You're losing everything...


Little Country Boy, what the hell is wrong with you?!!!!!!.............

I'm Dying (Poem)

My body is tired of fighting this heartache
I have no strength left
It's slowly dying, it's slowly giving up
It no longer wants to keep going 
Its hard to breathe, it's hard be happy


I feel is unworthy
I feel not good enough
How much more can I take?
Will I ever be ok?


My chest hurts because my is broken
I feel it literally breaking
It knows it truly over
It doesn't want it to be true


Love is not strong enough to keep fighting
Forced to let go, forced to stop surviving
If I can't have you, I don't want to go on


Your love is my medicine
It keeps me smiling
It's food for my soul
It keeps me sane


Sane to live in this cruel world 
And shields  my heart from harm 
It takes me to a peaceful place
It helps me love myself


But you took it away
As you always do 
Maybe I was just there for you
To take you away from yourself
To take you away from your reality
It was just for you
Never thinking about what it would do to me


I'm sick to my stomach 
Thinking I'm nothing to you
Feeling anger knowing nothing I  can do 
Will make you love me


I'm slowly dying
A piece of me died
The piece that felt love
The piece that held on to you 
And believed it was forever


I'm slowly dying
Would you be happy if I did?
Would you be free of the guilt?
Would you finally smile?
Would you finally laugh?


I know you would
no more worry bout what you've done
You'll finally forgive yourself  
And be happy
I'm not I'm slowing dying
I can't fight this time
I give up, I don't want to fight
No more, no more


You took away all my strength....

Why Lord? (Poem)

Everytime I try to say goodbye
You stop me, why Lord?
Everytime the pain gets too overwhelming
You give me signs that I need to hold on, why Lord?


Why is he heavy on my heart?
Why do I hold onto him so tightly, why Lord?
Why can't you take is face out of my mind?
Why do the memories never fade away, why Lord?


He's done so many bad things
He's hurt me so badly 
I want to let go but you don't let me, why Lord?
Why do you want me to feel this pain?
I'm tired of fighting this
I'm tired of feeling weak
I hate the anger I have for him


I can't take this anymore
I can't go on like this
My heart is no longer strong
I just want to give up
I don't see why you don't let me give up, why lord?


What is your plan for us?
What do you want to come out from this?
What are trying to show me?


Does he truly love me?
Is what he says is the truth?
Only you know his heart
Bring it out to the light
Open my eyes to what you want


I surrender it's in your hands
I give it up to you
Show me the right path
Please tell me what you want from me
Why does this always happen, why Lord....

Heart of Rejection #2 (Poem)

The love has been drained from my heart

The tears keep falling from my eyes
I gave you everything, I gave you my heart
A heart full of love and happiness
Now I have a heart of pain
Rejection, shame, worthlessness


I want answers to all my unanswered questions
Why can't you tell me the truth?
Why are you so unhappy?
Why do you always run away?


I wish you can be inside my head
so you know my truth
The truth of how I truly feel
How much I loved you
How much I wanted my dream come true
How much I wanted to be your wife
And have your children


All that is gone I no longer love you
I no longer want that dream come true
I no longer want to have your children
And most of all I no longer want to be your wife


I ask the Lord to help me to forgive
To forgive myself for all the anger
Forgive myself for the self hatred
For feeling abandoned and unloved


And wanting attention and wanting to be held
My heart will never heal
And now I have go on alone
Alone with no one here
Here to listen and care
All I have is me and me alone
Alone with myself
And never be the same again....

Heart of Rejection #1 (Poem)

The tears fall down my face

As the pain flows out my body
Feeling every hurtful word, every fight
Feeling all the anger at myself, all the self hatred
All the unanswered questions
The reasons why, the broken promises

I sit here blaming myself
Feeling I'm the blame for your actions
The anger I have for myself
feeling ashamed, embarrassed, worthless
Ashamed for feeliing I wasn't good enough
Embarrassed knowing it was my fault
Worthless because you always leave

A heart breaking in two
A heart crying out for you
Crying out for your love
Wanting you to love me
Wanting your attention
Wanting to hear you honestly, truly love me

I just want to know the truth
I want to know what's truly in your heart
What do you really think of me?
What do you want from me?

This anger has control over me
It's gripping my heart
It's taking over my mind
Thinking about how you've done me wrong

If you saw my broken heart on the floor
Would you fix the wound, would you handle it with care? 
You wouldn't, you haven't
You left it there to bleed and never looked back

You turned your back on me time and time again
Will I ever be good enough?
Will you ever truly give me your heart
Will you ever truly surrender to me?
Will You ever stop hurting me?

Don't ever shed tears over me
Dont ever say you're sorry
Keep telling yourself that I'll be ok
Keep telling yourself your doing  right by me, you're not 
Deep down you know your doing wrong
Keep singing that same old song 
Your the one that has to live with it
This is My Heart of Rejection

What I Wish He Would Say.... (Poem)

First of all,

Deep down I have a fear of not being a good son and brother 

And most of all of not being the man and husband you deserve

The loss of my father is the worst pain I have ever felt

Witnessing my fathers lasts breaths and doing everything I could to save him and not being successful

I have regrets of not telling him how feel and not saying goodbye

Most of all I have regrets for the things I have said bout him 

and more than anything I wish I could take it back

and for that I hate myself

I feel it's now my responsibility to protect my mother 

And mostly my baby sister

Please know I feel like the whole world is on my shoulders 

And it is very overwhelming

I have a lot to deal with a lot I can't really deal with too much

I need you to understand

But I want you to know this:

I want to truly apologize for the pain I have caused you

I know I'm really hurting you

I know you've put up with so much

And I know I have said a lot of hurtful things

know that I truly hate myself for that more than you know

It's a lot to ask for you to wait

But I need this time to get back on my feet

If you choose not to wait you are free to go

But know this

I don't want to lose you

I don't want you to go

I love you with all my heart

You are the love of my life 

While I do all this

I promise to tell you I love you

Day in and day out

And show you how much I appreciate everything you've done

It breaks my heart to have to do this to you yet again 

But I have to do this

I am not leaving you I couldn't

This is not goodbye

When all is settled I will come to you and we will

Live happily ever after.....

I love you 

Love, Always and forever

Your Love (Poem)

Your words are my lullaby

As your finger tips touch my face
Dreaming of your whisper saying "I love you"
You rub my forehead as I drift into a sweet bliss
Hearing your sweet voice whisper sweet nothings in my my ear

Feeling your breath on my ear
Smelling the sweet scent of your skin
Like fresh rain in the forrest
The smell of your clean clothes
Touching my body, taking you all in

Hoping the smell lingers on my bed
As I lay my head on your chest
Hearing your heartbeat
It sounds like a beautiful hymn sung by Angels
Loving each beat gripping my heart
so wonderfully, so beautifully

Healing every wound of my heart
Every heartbreak, every pain I've felt, every tear I've cried
It is no longer bleeding, no longer hurting

Your soul is peircing through my body
Feeling reborn, feeling happiness, feeling free
Freedom like I'm flying
Feeling the wind on my face
Seeing the beautiful scenery
Hearing all the sounds God gave us in the world

Hoping I can reach Heaven
Its not far away, you are my heaven
You are my Angel, you are my life and everthing in it
The reason I live, the reason I'm alive
The reason I love, the reason I strvive

I don't want to wake up
I don't want to lose this feeling
I don't want to lose that touch
I don't want to lose that whisper

You are my dream and you came true
You are my love, my hope
Everything beautiful, Everything wonderful
Being in love with you is my Bliss

Please never let go, please never leave
Hold on to me, hold on to my love
Make my dream come true
Make it reality, be there when I wake up
So I can smile and kiss you
Please make it come true......

Written For Adrienne Garcia

Remember this poem babe.

The sweetest of all loves

flows through my soul

like wind over wings of doves

as thoughts of her takes toll.

Wondrous smiles only she can bring

with her intense love for I

as the wedding bells ring

for without her I would truly die

So baby you must now know

that my heart is forever yours

you are with me everywhere I go

for all eternity my being allures

I love you my baby,

Adrienne

I Miss you (Poem)

You used to call me your Angel

Said I was sent straight down from Heaven
You'd hold me close in your arms
I loved the way you felt so strong
I never wanted you to leave
I wanted you to stay here holdin' me

I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I needed you to know

You used to call me your dreamer
And now I'm livin' out my dream

How I wish you could see
Everything that's happenin' for me
I'm thinkin' back on the past
It's true the time is flyin' by too fast

I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I needed you to know
I miss you

I know you're in a better place yeah
But I wish that I could see your face,
I know you're where you need to be
Even though it's not here with me

I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you

I'm Sorry (Poem)

I’m sorry you don’t like me

I’m sorry I’m not good enough

I’m sorry I made you upset

I’m sorry I don’t feel pretty

I’m sorry I’m not happy

I’m sorry I cry myself to sleep at night thinking about you

I’m sorry I hurt you

I’m sorry I can’t be what you want

I’m sorry I’m scared

I’m sorry I’m ashamed

I’m sorry I’m numb

I’m sorry I don’t care

I’m sorry I’m hurt

I’m sorry I’m angry

I’m sorry I’m not perfect

I’m sorry I’m not what you thought I was

I’m sorry I don't smile

I’m sorry I worry

I’m sorry I freak out

I’m sorry I’m messed up

I’m sorry I’m sad

I’m sorry I don't ask for help

I’m sorry I’m stubborn

I’m sorry I’m weak

I’m sorry I don't feel loved

I’m sorry I’m not affectionate

I’m sorry I keep secrets

I’m sorry I don't laugh

I’m sorry I feel overwhelmed

I’m sorry I’m stressed

I’m sorry I don’t take the time to get to know people

I’m sorry don't call because I don't want to bug you

I’m sorry feel like a burden

I’m sorry you don't love me

I’m sorry you hate me

I’m sorry I feel unwanted

I’m sorry I don't tell you how I feel about you

I’m sorry I lie

I’m sorry I am me

Most of all I’m sorry for being sorry

Guardian Angel (Poem)

She sits by the window watching the rain fall down

Wondering why she’s in this world

Goes on day by day with just a string of hope

She gets down on her knees and pray

Please God send me a Guardian Angel to protect me and keep me safe from harm

God lays his hands on her heart and says: no worries my child he is here with you right now don’t be afraid.

She looks over and sees someone smiling at her

And she feels so safe, he holds her hand every step of the way and tells her every day that He loves her and gives her a single rose for every day they spent

Writes her a little notes just to say I love you..

One day he gets down on one knee and asks will you marry me?

Tears roll her eyes and she says yes!

He tells her he has a little secret:

God answered your prayer I’m the Guardian Angel you asked for I’m here to keep you safe so don’t worry rest your head and go to sleep she closes her eyes as he wraps his wings around her. And God whispers in her ear: see I told you not to worry my child I’m here for you all you have to do is call my name, I love you my sweet child soon you’ll have your wings and both you and your Guardian Angel will fly, I am never far away..

A Last Goodbye (Poem)

I was sitting outside looking at the sky

As a butterfly flew by, it cycled around me

It was the most beautiful butterfly I’ve ever seen

It touched me gently and flew away

A second later I got a call that my Uncle had passed way

He was the beautiful butterfly, he came to say goodbye:

I am going home to be with My Father

Don’t be sad for I am going to a better place

Soon you will see my face

I’m in a house of the Lord

Where there is no sadness or pain

Please hold my memories close

For I am in your heart

Do not be afraid

The Devil's Son (Poem)

You sit there with a bottle of beer and a line of coke

Walking around like the victim, poor me poor me

On the outside you look like an Angel but on the inside your heart is evil

So evil you get pleasure out of my pain, now because of you I’m so insane

You turned me into you; you turned me into the person I hate

And the person I hate is you.

No one ever hugged you, loved you, or held you. All the friends you've lost

All the pain you went through, yet you’re so selfish. you find me so vulnerable so pathetic

All the sweet talking, all the lies. You made me believe that you were good

That you were compassionate and all the time, you didn’t give a shit

Making excuses for yourself just because you were labeled with bi polar

That’s the reason you destroyed me

That’s why you laughed and made a fool out of me

You were addicted to drugs and alcohol

 That’s the reason you made up that you were married, that’s the reason you

Never wanted to see me

Now all I can think about is all the bad memories

You haunt me day and night Making me feeling like a worthless piece of shit

Where were you when I tried to end my life?

Where were you the nights I cried myself to sleep?

You killed who I was, you stole my heart, and you took my innocence

All because you only think of yourself

Now you sit there happy with someone else while I’m wasting away into the darkness

I think you deserve to burn in hell for eternity and pay for all the pain you put me through.

You never had any sympathy for anything you did; you just blamed everyone for how you turned out.

You always said you weren’t going be to like your father, but the truth is you’re a spitting image of the person you hated all your life. You are your father!

You look in the mirror and your daddy is staring back at you laughing

He’s that voice in your head that screams you were nothing, he made you feel worthless

So the one person you destroy is me, you punish me for everything bad thing he did to you

One day you’ll pay for all the pain you put people through and now I’m letting you go

Freeing myself from all the hurt I went through

It’s going to get cold and lonely with no one there, so what are you gonna do?

Light and darkness don’t mix. I’m light you’re darkness

I’m a child of God and you’re nothing but The Devil’s Son.

Dying Love (Poem)

I'm laying there lifeless I gave up
I surrendered my life to you
I took my last breath in your honor
My soul leaves my body and it follows you
I sit next to you, looking at your face
You look puzzled, confused
Wondering why I left you like this
You look down and see a piece of paper
A letter I wrote to you, I watch you as you read my words
And you read it out loud:

Dear Love,

I'm free from you now, no more pain, no more memories
Free from your horrible words I no longer hate myself
I no longer feel like I'm not worthless
I'm no longer hiding behind the mask
The mask you made me put on to hide my love
You forced me to pretend our love never existed
You made me feel like I'm nothing to you
You suffocated me with all your lies
You suffocated me with your denial
You suffocated me with your fear
The fear that killed me, the fear that tore us apart
I now can breathe, I now can forget you
You no longer have control over me
This is what you wanted, you wanted me I'm gone
You no longer huant me, I huant you
I suffocate you I make you wear a mask
You will feel all the pain you put me through
You will never escape me, you will never forget me
I will forever be in your head, I will forever with you
Never forget you did this, you drove me to insanity
Now I'm gone and your the only one to blame
You will never be forgiven, you will never be forgiven

Signed: The One You let Slip Away

The letter falls out of your hand as tears fall from your eyes
Saying out loud: I'm sorry I always loved you
I smile and whisper: It's too late now
I fade away and you feel the cold wind
Staring the the mirror....
I'm sorry I'm so sorry........